I need to start setting some goals. Yes, I have a goal weight in mind. But the fact that it is 60lbs away and I've been fluctuating between the same few pounds for what seems like forever, that goal seems nearly unachievable right now. I know, that if I work hard, stick to the program, and be honest with myself I will get there... eventually. But in the mean time, I need to look at the smaller picture. What short-term goals can I make that I can work toward? What can I do right now to change myself for the better both inside and out?
Short-term goal #1: I love (or used to love) running. It was something I would do not to lose weight or to be in shape, but it was my way of getting away from everything. If I had a bad day, or was just overwhelmed, running would be there to save me. I always felt better after running and never regretted it. But something in me just snapped and I stopped... and I gained 40lbs. I don't even remember why or if there even was a reason behind it. I just know that one day I was a runner and now I'm not. So, clearly I want to get back into running in the worst way. My goal is to start and finish C25K. I have started it before and given it up. I need to stick with it.
For now, that's the goal I have in mind. I will try to come up with a new short term goal every week. Hey, if I can make one small change at a time, those changes will add up quickly. And who knows, maybe that 60lbs I need to lose will come off faster than I realize.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Emotional Eating... and Brownies!
So I have to confess that I'm a really bad emotional eater. I blame 99.9% of my weight on emotional eating. Whenever I am faced with a situation that is upsetting or stressful, I turn to food. Sometimes I may not even be aware of what I'm doing. I know how bad this is, but it's a difficult habit to shake. I've been in this pattern for years. And what's worse is that the sadder I am, the more I eat, which makes me even sadder. It's that "vicious cycle" rearing it's ugly head again.
These days I could not be more stressed. As a grad student, I am under constant pressure to get things done and push myself further and further beyond my comfort zone. On top of that, I think I may be depressed. I know as a psychology student, my professors have always said not to self-diagnose, but I pretty much have every symptom in the book (yes, I have a copy of the DSM lol). So as you can imagine, my emotional eating has been really getting the best of me lately. I wake up in the morning with every intention to stay on-plan, and then I fail as soon as something happens that upsets me, which is every day these days.
Anyway, this has been one of the most stressful weeks ever. Every assignment for the semester is due pretty much in the span of a couple of days, so it's crunch time. I have to say, I've been doing pretty well. I really have been staying on-plan for the most part. And everything has been tracked this week, which is great.
I did have a major chocolate craving today though, so in an attempt to make a healthier choice, I made brownies with squash (I couldn't find pumpkin anywhere!). They came out pretty good! A little rubbery and dense, but they definitely helped with my craving. Here's a picture. I tried to capture how dense they are lol. The only thing I didn't groove with was the fact that I could still taste that *squashy* flavor.
These days I could not be more stressed. As a grad student, I am under constant pressure to get things done and push myself further and further beyond my comfort zone. On top of that, I think I may be depressed. I know as a psychology student, my professors have always said not to self-diagnose, but I pretty much have every symptom in the book (yes, I have a copy of the DSM lol). So as you can imagine, my emotional eating has been really getting the best of me lately. I wake up in the morning with every intention to stay on-plan, and then I fail as soon as something happens that upsets me, which is every day these days.
Anyway, this has been one of the most stressful weeks ever. Every assignment for the semester is due pretty much in the span of a couple of days, so it's crunch time. I have to say, I've been doing pretty well. I really have been staying on-plan for the most part. And everything has been tracked this week, which is great.
I did have a major chocolate craving today though, so in an attempt to make a healthier choice, I made brownies with squash (I couldn't find pumpkin anywhere!). They came out pretty good! A little rubbery and dense, but they definitely helped with my craving. Here's a picture. I tried to capture how dense they are lol. The only thing I didn't groove with was the fact that I could still taste that *squashy* flavor.
Allow myself to introduce... myself!
Hello blog world! My name is Christine. I'm 23 years old, and I'm currently a graduate student going for my Advanced Certificate in School Psychology. I live in NY, at home with my parents. But, enough with the boring stuff.
I have created this blog with the goal of tracking my weight loss journey. I started weight watchers back in September of 2009. I was doing great. Lost 16lbs by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, and then all hell broke loose. I went off track. And I mean way off track. With the stress of grad school finals and the added temptation of the holiday season, I lost complete control. It's now mid-April, and after numerous feeble attempts to get myself back on track, I have failed miserably. I've gained nearly every pound of those 16lbs that I lost back in the fall. I am very disappointed in myself and ashamed of my lack of self control.
But, that's why I'm here. Tracking my WLJ, making myself accountable, and finally kicking my butt back on the wagon and sticking to it for good this time. No more excuses. No more slacking. No more allowing myself to eat poorly because school or life is stressing me out. And, most importantly, No More Self Destructing!
I have created this blog with the goal of tracking my weight loss journey. I started weight watchers back in September of 2009. I was doing great. Lost 16lbs by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, and then all hell broke loose. I went off track. And I mean way off track. With the stress of grad school finals and the added temptation of the holiday season, I lost complete control. It's now mid-April, and after numerous feeble attempts to get myself back on track, I have failed miserably. I've gained nearly every pound of those 16lbs that I lost back in the fall. I am very disappointed in myself and ashamed of my lack of self control.
But, that's why I'm here. Tracking my WLJ, making myself accountable, and finally kicking my butt back on the wagon and sticking to it for good this time. No more excuses. No more slacking. No more allowing myself to eat poorly because school or life is stressing me out. And, most importantly, No More Self Destructing!
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